4 D's for success

Why you should read this.

You only have one chance to make a first impression. Both parties are making assessments in the first three seconds of a first encounter. You have a total of 30 seconds to make that first impression a great one. Once an opinion is formed, it is very hard to change. When you are wanting to do business with that person then that 30 second window is crucial. You can gain or lose business based on only a few moments of interaction. That other person will also be telling others how you impressed them. Whether that impression was good or bad is entirely up to you.

How to do this...

Research has shown that the impact of your message is:

7% what you say
38% how you say it
55% body language and appearance.

(Body Language - Allan Pease p6).

There are several factors being considered in any meeting. Most of these factors are non-verbal. The most important factor is: who is the focus of the encounter. You are the most important person in your life. Don't you think that they are thinking the same thing? Make the other person the focus of your attention. Listen to what they are saying. Ask questions that open up the conversation. If you are selling a product or service, you need to know if the person is ready to buy. The best way to get that information is to ask open-ended questions that will lead you to the answer and make a great impression on the other person.

Demeanor - how you think

“We awaken in others the same attitude of mind we hold toward them.”  - Elbert Hubbard

Our attitudes and feelings are our choice. Stephen Covey in his best selling book "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" says:

“Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us.”

When we go into a situation with a bad attitude it is shown in our faces. The other person will reflect that attitude right back at you. You'll both come away from the meeting thinking that the other person is cantacorous, billigerent, selfish or worse all because you decided to have a bad attitude.

Look in a mirror. Think about what you're thinking. Readjust your mental attitude by listening to upbeat music or reading an uplifting message before you go into a meeting. Use positive affirmatoins to reinforce the attitude and outcome ou want to have.

Dress - how you look

"Dress makes the person" is how the proverb goes. With todays business environment that should be "Appropriate dress makes for success".  You wouldn't go to the beach in a suit and tie, don't go to a business meeting in shorts and thongs. Dress appropriately for the situation.

An Australian company that sells security alarms increased their business and almost eliminated cancellations by dressing their contractors in a uniform. When the contractors were allowed to wear whatever they wanted, they were not always presenting the best professional image of the company and people were taking that impression onboard and cancelling their orders or refusing access to the contractor.

Make your impression the best you can. If it's appropriate, wear a uniform. Even a name badge can make a big difference in any store or service centre.

Keep you clothing clean and neat. Pay close attention to your shoes. You may not think you look at peoples shoes but there is a subconsious assessment going on all the time you're with another person.

Deportment - how you act

Your body language is a big part of this. If you slouch then the other person gets a negative impression. In todays multi-cultural society we need to be aware of different meanings to simple gestures. In Allan Pease' book "Body Language" there are many examples of gestures and non-verbal clues to reading the other persons thoughts.

“For every sale you miss because you're too enthusiastic, you will miss a hundred because you're not enthusiastic enough.”- Zig Ziglar

If you're not enthused by your service or product how can you expect the other person to be? Find something about your business that really excites you. If you can't, then find another line of work that does. You will never succeed if you're not passionate about what you do.

“You can’t talk your way out of what you’ve behaved yourself into.” - Stephen R Covey. Be aware of how you are acting at all times. Each time you meet someone you are reinforcing their impression of you. One small 'gaff' can follow you for a long time.

Diction - how you sound

“Words fashioned with somewhat over precise diction are like shapes turned out by a cookie cutter.” - Peter De Vries

Diction is the correct use of words. But it's not always what you say but how you say it that makes the difference. A sarcastic comment can break a business relationship.

Speech coaches talk about 'pitch, pace and pause'. Keep your pitch low, pace slow and pause occassionally. Let the other person do most of the talking and you'll get a reputation as a great conversationalist.

Focus on the other person first. Use their name. Keep jokes to a minimum. Do not use 'swear words' even if the other person does. Avoid sarcasm or talking negatively about others. Don't go into politics or sports. Keep the conversation about them.

In social situations, the old "FORM" method still works. Ask them about their "Friends, Occupation, Recreation, Message".

Stephen Covey says “Seek first to understand, then to be understood”

Summary

Be aware of your attitude.
Dress your best for the occassion.
Watch your body language.
Use your voice.